Sunday, December 23, 2007

books... haha...

Stephenie Meyer:
Twilight
--already read!!!--
--fave na!!! haha!!!--
New Moon
--wala pa ko nito...--
Eclipse
--pati nito...--
Midnight Sun
--which is still not sure if it will be published--
--so talagang wala pa ko nito...--
The Host
--'It's possibly the first love triangle that only involves two bodies.'--
--at wala parin ako nito...--
Mitch Albom:
Tuesdays with Morrie
For One More Day
Five People You Meet In Heaven
William Sleator:
Fingers
--currently reading...--
Patrick Carman:
The Land of Elyon:
Into The Mist
--curretly reading din!!!--

--farewell... for now!!!--

i wont be back for a while...
going to Manila...
so...
Merry Christmas
and
Happy New Year
people!!!
have a nice
--though short--
Christmas break!!!
<--klasmeyts-->
good luck sa tle!!!
at sci...
<--fellow math varsities-->
nagagawa nyo ba?!
kahirap e!!!
...:::...:::...
mag-gm ba sa blog!!!
haha!!!
--at alam kong walang nakakabasa dito...--
...:::...:::...
♥~.sHa.~♥

Thursday, December 20, 2007

--cOnFuSed--

what to do...
when i don't know who???
who i love, who i want
but i know i care so much...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Friday, October 19, 2007

... bahala kayo basahin to...

waa!!! i wanna die!!! malas na buhay to!!! first... may nagsabi na pupunta sya... then... may isa pang nagsabing pupunta sya... then tinext ni marianne {ay nako!!! see?! sayo lang nagreply!!! kasi masama sya!!! ugh!!!} at tinanong kung nasan sya... then nagreply na NANDUN SYA SA ROB... {at nandun din kami sa rob nun!!!} then tinanong ng aking GREAT FRIENDS {haha...} kung nasan sya sa rob... sumagot na nandun daw sya sa timezone, sa taas... at tinakot ako nila marianne at len na iiwan nila ako mag-isa dun sa may tokyo tokyo... {at syempre sumunod naman ako sa kanila kahit labag sa kalooban ko... dahil ang second greatest fear ko is BEING ALONE... by the way, my greatest fear is being alone IN THE DARK... coz i tend to imagine crazy, scary things...} back to the story... edi un nga... nandun daw sya sa taas... pumunta kami... i saw him... then... then naglaro kami ni len ng air hockey sa timezone sa baba... ang lakas ko tumama sa puck!!! kasi... ung puck... color yellow... which is the color din of his t-shirt... then nung umakyat kami... kinausap ng mom ni immy si immy... then, after nila mag-usap, sinabi samin ni immy na ang isang part daw ng glorietta e pinasabog... then maglalaro dapat kami ni len nung race na game beside nung basketball na game sa timezone sa taas... while naghihintay kami matapos ung currently nag-lalaro... nagmura ung naglalaro sa harapan ko... medyo nagside view ako para mapaharap kay len tapos sabi ko "kasaya..." kaso nakita ko sa aking peripheral vision sya!!! balik ako sa pagkakaharap ko dun sa nagmurang naglalaro e!!! natameme pa ako!!! hindi ako nakapagsalita e!!! then... nung paalis na si immy... may pinapasabi sya samin kay edzel... so pinuntahan namin si edzel sa netspeed... tapos {hindi ko talaga napansin before ako pumasok dun sa loob!!!} nandun sya sa left ni edzel!!! kaya dun ako tumayo sa left ni len {si len e nasalikod ni edzel} e!!! haay..
i learned one very important lesson today... BE CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU WISH FOR... FOR IT CAN BITE YOU IN THE BUTT WHEN IT HAPPENS...

people...

is it bad to hide how much you really hurt under a veil of smiles, laughter and happiness so that no one would notice???

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
just because my eyes dont shed tears
doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry...
just because i come out strong
doesn't mean nothing's wrong...
often, i choose to pretend that im happy so that
i dont have to explain myself to people who'll never understand...
smiling has always been easier than
explaining why im sad...
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Monday, October 15, 2007

october 15...

today...

i know why i was particularly good at some parts of the day...

why i felt that i was forgetting something...

why i couldn't sleep last night...

and why i felt something when i saw that butterfly... {marianne, do you remember???}

it's all because...

its my departed dad's birthday...

sorry papa...
i forgot that it's your birthday today...
sorry...

Friday, October 5, 2007

malas...

minsan... talagang minamalas ang mga tao sa buhay... marami nagiging problema... maraming kailangang gawin... at itong araw na ito... isa dun!!!

ang daming assignments...

ang sakit ng feet ko...

ayaw magreply ng isang tao...

kailangan ko pang gumawa ng reviewers ko dahil malapit na quarterly exams...

malapit na ang quarterly exams...

ayaw magreply ng isang tao...

sa tuesday na quarterly sa PE at Health...

hindi ko pa manlang nababasa ung handouts sa PE at Health...

ayaw magreply ng isang tao...

hindi pa ako nakakapanuod ng "I've Fallen For You"...

pati ng "Nancy Drew"...

at ayaw parin magreply ng isang tao...

malas noh?!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

another story...

There was a girl. She loved someone. Someone very special. This guy, one day, confided to her that he loved someone else. His words broke her heart. As the days passed, she saw him with the one he liked. Even though it hurts her really bad, she still felt happy because she is seeing the guy she liked happy, even though with somebody else, not her. She vowed that even though this guy is breaking her heart, she would continue loving him because she knows that in love, and even life, we must sacrifice to make the people we love happy, even though it's hard or hurts us so much, we must because it's the right thing to do. She also knew that love is nothing without pain for pain makes us realize that our love is true.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Kahit na tumingin ka sa iba
Magmahal ka ng iba
Magbubulag-bulagan ako
Masakit man ito dito sa puso ko
~Dahil Mahal Na Mahal Kita by Rachelle Ann Go~
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Kung alam mo lang kung gano kita kamahal
Nagtitiis, nagdurusa sa twing kapiling mo sya
Kung alam mo lang na mahal na mahal kita
~Kung Alam Mo Lang by Rachelle Ann Go~
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_


Thursday, September 27, 2007

some qoutes i like...

disclaimer... walang kukuha ng qoutes dito!!! yan ang mga gagamitin kong shout-outs for friendster!!!
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
They say that noisy people are not serious.
But they never know that behind my happy smiles and joyous laughter
are a thousand kinds of pain which I tried to hide ever since.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
this is so true... for me... i don't know about you people out there...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Goodbyes make you think.
They make you realize what you've had,
what you've lost and what you've taken for granted.
They make you realize that, in life, sometimes,
there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
a good lesson... i just wish that, i knew this before...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
While you gave her flowers, you gave me thorns.
While all she did was smile, all I did is mourn.
While she was so happy, I felt so blue.
Because while you loved her, I was loving you.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
All I ever hear is what you whisper in her ear.
All you ever say is how much you want her near.
All I ever see is the things she makes you do,
but all I ever wanted was for you to love me too.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
this goes for that guy... who i know likes {or even loves} somebody else... which is not me... {ouch}
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
By some mischief of fate,
we might only truly fall in love once.
You know that one great love old folks refer to.
Many lovers may get into our lives
but there is only one person
with that one smile, one kiss, one hug and one moment,
that our hearts will never replace.
That person, usually but sadly, is the one that got away.
That's why after all the chips are down,
we know, we just know, we'll never fall in love that way again.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"i know, i'll never love this way again..."
{forgot the title e...}
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
A great love?
It's when you shed tears and still you care for him,
it's when he ignores you and still you long for him.
It's when he begins to love another and yet,
you still smile and say I'm happy for you.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
i know how that feels... well maybe some parts only... but mostly all of it...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
There comes a time when
we have to stop loving someone
not because that person has stopped loving us
but because we have found out that they'd be happier if we let go.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
well... i didn't experience being "loved" with that someone... and still... i can't let go...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
We don't look for love because it's lonely to be watching movies alone,
because it's sad to eat meals on your own,
because it's nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days.
We look for love because we want to be accepted,
for the sloppy ways we dress,
for the clumsy way we eat our meals,
for bad hair days and for the simplicity in us.
Love is an act of acceptance,
that with all our imperfections, we are accepted and loved.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
wow...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
It is really painful
to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go,
but it is even more painful
to ask the person to stay
even if you can never make it work out the way it should be.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
ouch...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Gusto ko sanang kasama ka,
kasi, espesyal ka sa akin.
Gusto ko sanang katabi ka,
kasi, love kita.
Gusto ko sanang yakapin ka,
kasi, miss na kita.
Pero gustuhin ko man lahat yun,
hindi pwede kasi malayo ka.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
wow... i really like this quote... for THAT guy...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Behind my smiles are my kept tears.
Behind my jokes are my hidden problems.
Hindi man ako laging tunay na masaya,
sana, andyan ka lang kapag hindi ko na kaya.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
i just wish... you would really be there... but i know perfectly well that... you won't...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
If you really love someone,
you wouldn't have the heart to hurt that person
no matter what it takes.
You will always find a way to make her happy,
because that is what constitutes love among people.
You are overjoyed when you see her happy.
That's true love.
Seeing happiness in her eyes is enough to prove what love is.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
aww... how touching...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I wonder why just when i learned to wait,
it was when you never came.
I wonder just when I learned to laugh,
you made me cry.
And just when I've learned to love you so much,
it was when you walk away.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
= (
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Everyone wants to be
the sun that lights up your life.
But I'd rather be your moon,
so I can shine on you
during your darkest hour when your sun isn't around.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
yeah... i would really want that...
because, i want to be there for you in your hardships and pain...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Hindi mo raw agad malalamang mahal mo na ang isang tao,
madalas kasi bulag ka sa totoo
at akala mo iba ang gusto mo.
Pero sa huli,
mararamdaman mong mahal mo na pala sya,
kapag nalaman mong... iba na ang mahal niya.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
ouch... that hurts...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Day and night are linked in a way that few things are;
there cannot be one without the other,
yet they cannot exist at the same time.
How would it feel to be always together yet forever apart?
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
aww... i know how "forever apart" hurts... so much...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Whenever I make your phone beep,
I know that at one part you've uttered
"Ikaw lang pala."
and I couldn't blame you for that.
But at anytime,
I just want you to know that
this "lang" cares for you so much...
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Ako? Ako yung
"nothing",
as in, nothing para sa 'yo,
kasi, alam ko na meron ka nang
"your everything."
Pero sana,
alam mo na kapag nawala si
"everything",
dyan lang si "nothing"
to give you "everything."
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
sana nababasa mo to...
kasi, ito ay para sayo.
ito ang mga hindi ko makayang sabihin sa iyo...
kasi, hindi naman ako importante sayo...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Saturday, September 22, 2007

...does this story sound familiar???...

For me... love is a roller-coaster of emotions... sometimes your happy... sometimes your sad... sometimes your laughing... sometimes hurting...

like this story...

There was this girl. She has a really big crush on one of her guy classmates. She was always happy whenever he's around especially when he talks to her or even when annoys her. Sometimes, she would do silly things just to gets closer to him. Then, at the end of the school year, just before their graduation, she heard from her best friend that the guy would be leaving and would be transferring to another school. She was heartbroken. She tried to text him if it was true. He said yes. She got sad. Really sad. She tried to forget about him, but couldn't. She tried to get him off her mind, but she can't. Then, at the start of yet another school year, she tried to get in touch with him. She texted him, and he texted back. She was so happy. They exchanged stories about things that happened, or are happening, or the things that had changed that summer. This continued for two weeks. Then, one unfortunate day, he got mad at her. It was because she refused to tell her who her crush was. The girl thought, "How can I tell you? It's you.". After a few weeks, she tried to get in touch with him again. They would text for a while with each other until the guy asks her who her crush is and then she would refuse so the guy wouldn't reply to her messages again. This cycle continued every time the would text with each other. One day, the girl realized that she is starting to crush on another one of her guy classmates, and tried forget about the old one. She tried to make him her inspiration, but couldn't get her mind of the old one and shrug off her feelings for him.This guy made her happy at times. Even though she has feelings for this second guy, she also knows that the guy has a crush on someone else. She would sometimes see him with her and would feel happy and sad at the same time because she knew that he is happy but couldn't help but feel hurt because he's happy with someone else.

If you were in the situation of the girl, which would you rather choose? The guy who broke you heart suddenly and unexpectedly into so much little pieces that takes time to get back together, or the guy who is breaking you heart, little by little, each day?

and how would it feel, When your heart is already broken into little, jagged pieces and still in the process of mending itself back... then another guy comes that breaks your already broken heart more, by breaking those jagged pieces little by little and scaterring those pieces which makes it even harder to mend?

Friday, September 21, 2007

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
hindi mo alam kung anong tunay na nararamdaman ko...
hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nagmamahal sayo...
hindi mo alam kung gaano kalakas ang sakit sa loob ng puso ko...
hindi mo yon alam kasi...
hindi naman ako ang mahal mo...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

last day of intamurals aka "pistakasan"... aww...

aww... it's the last day of our intamurals... it's back to our usual studying... awww....

but still... it was a very fun day!!! in the morning, the game was "tug-o-war"... we lost in the boys game but won one of of two games in the girls!!! woohoo!!! we lost the other game because... while they were playing, {they were really close to winning!!!} the referee was signaling to stop the game because it was a tie and Sir. Ace blew the whistle already so most, if not all, loosened their grip on the rope because they thought that the game was over but the SC103 still pulled so they won!!! argh!!!

then, after that, some of my girl classmates played ball in the outside court... {but i wasn't one of them... i was already contented of just watching them play... and my shoulder and arm were hurting at that time...} then... while they were playing ball, a little before 11 am, three or two {i forgot...} of my guy classmates went to where we were to borrow Paoline V.'s volleyball... while one of them were asking permission, i teased one of them "paos!!! paos!!! haha!!! hindi lang ako ang paos!!!" because he was "paos" {like me!!! hehe!!!}!!! i was so bad!!! bwahaha!!!

then, after 1 in the afternoon, our closing ceremony for our intramurals started... it was boring at the start... but so fun in the end!!! because... Sam C. came to our school {just like last year}!!! this time, i got to see him close because i went to the stage because Roma D. asked me to accompany her... it was so fun!!!


by the way... i got Sam C.'s signature!!! haha!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ouch...
that is all i can say...
its the only word...
that expresses what i feel this day...

ouch...
a phrase i had blurt...
because what you did...
had really hurt...

ouch...
wish you could turn this frown into a smile...
turn all the sadness into happiness...
and make my life worthwhile...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

intramurals "pistakasan" 2007...

wow!!! time really flies so fast!!! it's like yesterday was just our first day for our first year in high school... and now, its the fourth day of our intramurals, which they also call "pistakasan '07" which means "pista ng palakasan 2007"...

yesterday, i played one game of football, which was really fun!!! to play, i had to go through THREE pant changes because when i came to school that morning, i was already wearing my pe jogging pants but, because i really wanted to help, i exchanged my jogging pants to my service mate's, Dana N., pants... then, Dana B. and Cristelle M., my classmates, were shouting something like "hoy mga babae! football girls na! kulang tayo ng players! malalagot tayo kay sir. philip!" so i decided to join them... but i had a problem... i can't play with the pants of Dana N. because its too loose on me! then, Kathlyn A. came to my rescue... she said she has an extra pair of jogging pants that she can lend to me... so i changed into that jogging pants... but when we got to the oval, Kathlyn A. said that she can't play with the jogging pants she is wearing because it was white... so i, Justine N., and Kathlyn A. exchanged jogging pants, i got Justine N.'s, Justine N. got Kathlyn A.'s white jogging pants and Kathlyn A. got her pe jogging pants back... unfortunately, we lost in that game... and the next... but, finally!, we won our third game! and our fourth! {but i wasn't included in the second, third, and fourth games because many wanted to plat so i just gave way...} before our third game, after lunch, we went to the oval because we needed to be on stand-by because if we don't, we will get defaulted... but, at that time, it was raining! most of us who were there got wet but we didn't care! we just played there because it was fun! {and because of that, most of us either got their shoes dirty, got their socks wet, or got their shoes dirty AND their socks wet [and also filthy]!} that was a very fun time!!!

today, the games were volleyball boys and girls... i watched them play... one time, on our one game {volleyball boys}, it was my service mate Harris D. as the referee... and on that game, our team lost! one one game of the girls, Immy F. forced me to substitute for one of our classmates... but i really sucked! i hated myself {so much!} at that time! while watching our teams {boys and girls} playing, i was shouting... but my voice was throaty, deep, and not loud{even though i was already shouting} in other words, {in Filipino} malat... and it got worse because of that! when i got home, my legs were really aching! because that morning, i played badminton with Raizza M. before homeroom in the old gym... and then a little with Raizza M., Ros C., and Carl U. in the outside court {only a little because the boys had to go because one of their games would be starting soon}... and then {again} after lunch with Marla M., while the volleyball girls were going on, on the outside court... and again with Keren D., Patriz C., and Cristelle M. consecutively until 4:20pm... {while eating lunch, i and Immy F. were so "lakas tama" because we were spoon-feeding each other!}

{i had a problem when i got home because i left my cooler at the school!!!}

my blog...

The reason why I made this blog is because my first and second ones had been in "possible violation of blogger's rules and regulations" which, until now, I don't know why...

But, the real reason why i made ALL my blogs is that I want a place where I can publish my thoughts and as well as some of my writings which I don't have even the slightest courage to show to anybody...

I wish this blog would be my last...

Because I really want this one to be permanent...

About Me

me??? im a girl that can be smiling but inside is breaking apart... so think about what you would do to me... because you might not know that you're already breaking my heart...